Saturday, March 22, 2008

Corrections Officer Academy, report 2

Hey there, kids.
I'm back home with the family for Easter weekend. We've got lots to do, including egg dying and attending a High School Musical on Ice performance. Contain your envy.

Highlights from this past week of training:

-Sgt. Torres, one of the funnier human beings I've encountered in a longish time.

-Certain members of our training class have taken umbrage (all of the umbrage - every last bit of it) at the statement "there are no stupid questions". Their strategy in debunking this wrong-thinking?
You guessed it... Ego narro , proinde Ego sum nefas
[I speak, therefore I am wrong]
A veritable onslaught of the most distressingly ridiculous questions that have ever been leveled at a group of instructors.

-CS (what one might call tear gas) is fun.
Remember playing with fireworks as a kid? Yes, even those of you in CA. Remember lighting off too many pyrotechnics within a short time and close space? Well, that's what CS is like, only a tad more intense.

-OC (what one might call pepper spray) is not fun.
Remember that time you were feeling daring so you replied "make it a 10 please" to the waiter at the Thai restaurant, and he/she in return brought you something which performed a chemical peel on the entire interior of your mouth and sinuses? Well, that's not what OC is like, unless your Thai chef was a sadist spicing your food Naga Jolokia peppers.

-I definitely need a 37mm grenade launcher...for strategic sheep purposes, of course.

-There are some really great, well-meaning, and savvy people getting into the Corrections field. There are also some really sad and unbalanced ones.


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