Again my unquiet mind asks

Is there anything

Here worth saving?

Off-script

Overwhelmed by the

Terrifying potential,

Hope tramples my fear

No troubadour

Photographs and memories

Things I look upon to see

How damaged I've become

But will I always be?

Phantom limb pain

The part of me that died

The glow behind your eyes

The warmth I used to feel

The worth I hoped was real

The love that burned within

This aching phantom limb.

Lost

So much to say,

My words still churn 

But there’s no way

To ease this burn

For you can’t know

About my pain

To see you clear

And feel the stain

Our history’s shade

And lover’s crime

I’d burn it down

To make you mine

Instead I pine

And deign to play

My lesson learned

I fade away.

prophetic

My silence offended

My words saddened

And my touch hurt

How else could it end

But with tears and pain?

Evermore

Some hurts do not heal

Some wounds never seal,

Some blood will not dry

Some loves refuse to die,

When we start we cannot know

When we fail then time will show.

The Grim

No happy ending
Nor any ever after,
Just pain and failure.

Grief

Drowning pain in laughter
Dwindle to a roar
Fear of what comes after
Less is ever more

Half-life

This longing in my heart
Disquiet in my soul,
I am beside myself
Even in my decay

Echoes

Absent from my life
But dwelling deep in my heart;
This love will not die

Catch and Release

Little fish swims away
Lonely fish wonders why
Loveless fish musters out
But never learns to say goodbye,

Tired fish continues on
Tranquil fish accepts his loss
Tarnished fish will slowly heal
Although he feels like so much dross,

Cautious fish will swim alone
Canny fish can learn from pain
Careworn fish has lost its luster
With the lessons he will gain.

Caveat

Was it me that broke us down

And dragged our future in the dust?

Was it me with all my faults

That could never win your trust?

Was it me so sad and blind

That I could not see us apart?

Was it me in all my hubris

Thinking I could hold your heart?

Immolation

Who is the moth 

And who is the flame?

The wounded are walking

While loving in vain,

Am I the scorpion 

Or maybe the frog?

Failures still haunt me 

And I hold the flog,

I slip and I stumble

I cannot keep pace

In dreams I still carry

Some semblance of grace.

Circa

Finding you

Loving you

Losing you

Lamenting you 

Cause & effect

When masochism

Is matched by insight,

Despair is the only outcome.

Bound

In love until you love again
Yet unable to love anew:
The quandary of the lovelorn.

The fool

My last thought every night

My first wish upon the dawn;

A tarnished heart still hopes

Red

Love is like a red, red rose
Held by tender hands,
Blood runs down upturned stem
And drips upon the sands,

Love is like a red, red rose
Slowly turning black,
The petals like the pages
Of a bleak almanac

Love is like a red, red rose
Spilled upon the stone,
The only message held therein
You're going to die alone.

Terminus

I worry at this pain
Like a dog with a bone:
These two gaping holes in my heart
Will not heal.

So here it goes:

I'm posting this here because, like with my splintered heart, I have that writer's need to get my words out, but I'm too proud, private or cowardly (take your pick) to post it in a more public forum.


/rant on/

I find it so discouraging and tiresome, the way we demonize others for the choices they make.
Every time I hop onto FB I see someone I know stating, essentially, "if you're supporting/voting for Candidate-X then you're a bad person and can't be my friend."

Really?

I have a number of issues with this.
The first is simply a matter of choice. People who engage in this behavior are no better than those whom attack others for religious beliefs. The bottom line? People can vote for whomever they want. That's sort of the point, right?
I didn't vote for president Obama.
Most of my family did.
Likely all of my academic friends did.
I didn't feel the need to disparage them for their choice.
I didn't threaten to leave the country when my candidate failed to win, or accuse Obama supporters of trying to ruin the country.
FYI I voted for Barr, the Libertarian candidate.
And I was heckled by family members as having wasted my vote. But here's the rub: it wasn't wasted. It was my vote. Sometimes we fight the fight, play the game, or run the race even though we have NO chance of winning. Partaking in the event, the effort, is the nobler part. Being a productive and involved member of a democracy (or more accurately, a democratic republic) is not a destination; it is a journey. And like with most journeys, there is no one path.

This brings me to my second point. All of you people whom I love, railing against the choices of others (the present favorite is Trump of course but it could be any of them), do you really think that the worst president out of this motley collection of career politicians will spell cataclysmic doom for our country?

He or she will not.
Because our country, for all of its flaws, is stronger than that.

Everyone is getting so irate and wound up over rhetoric and campaign promises.
What is it about election years that turn the most educated and savvy citizens into 12 year olds reading spiderwebs at a country fair?

Just because it's written down somewhere doesn't make it true, accurate, or even plausible.
And when it's something a politician is saying...on a presidential platform...my god, don't be so naive.

All of you folks who truly believe Trump (assuming he wins) is going to build a wall around this country and kick out all of the illegals and Muslims...you clearly have a poor grasp of both the powers of the president, and the way the government works.

Likewise, all of you folks who fear that Clinton (assuming she wins) is going to pass unilateral gun laws and send the FBI and Marshals to come and take your guns...you are similarly confused.

Sanders can promise to make (assuming he wins) all the wealthy folks in our country turn over half of their annual income to the Dept for Better Education and Shinier Unicorns...it doesn't mean it's going to happen.

By all means, continue to gobble up all the media bites, celebrity endorsements and condemnations.

Just maybe, every once in a while, pause for a moment, and consider that 4 years, 8 if you've got bad-ass writers on staff, or even 12 years and 5 months if you're FDR, is not really so long a time in the lifespan of our country.

Is a politician really worth more than your bond with friends and family?


/rant off/

Inertia

She is moving on

And yet I am standing still:

A broken down heart.

In your eyes

And so it ends as it begins,
Just a collection of my sins.

My pain seeps slowly

From my core to the page thus

My heart's blood is read

At times despite

All of life's light and gloss

All I can see and taste is my loss

'Round the sun we dance
And across the globe she roams,
Her smile sings with joy

On the subject of Crow

I woke up morose

Then I wrote a new haiku,

Not really that good

LMAO

Crow

Hard to lament loss

When you are not even sure

You deserved to win

My whiskey-voiced Angel
No longer speaks to me,
She only flits in and out
Of my mind's eye
Leaving footprints and tears
In her wake.

What a strange kind of love this is

That lingers after hope has died,
Not letting go or giving up
In spite of failure and of pride,