Lost

No pictures of her
Just memories
Images you'll never see,

The warmth of her skin
Heat in her eyes
Kisses that I came to prize,

Her woman's charm
Her childlike glee
All that love is lost to me.

Fragments

No salvation,
No inspiration,
A heart's conflagration
A bleak celebration.



The more I learn
The less I feel
The more I know
The less I heal

Lay my shade to rest
Upon no hallowed ground
And quiet the fire within my heart
With but the barest  sound,

a/part

I hear your voice
And yearn for more,
I see your smile
I so adore,

I hold you close
But must release,
And in that pause
My heart knows peace,

Your earnest wish
I have attended,
But truth be told
This heart's not mended.

I thought I saw forever in your eyes
But it was just a moment in the sun,
Lovely and warm, deliciously shared
But gone when the day was done.

Over

I know that you've had your say
And I feel I was in your way
But I miss you,

They say that the going gets rough
And you said love just wasn't enough
Still I miss you,

I want to honor your choice
But my heart has found its voice
And I miss you,

So our song remains unsung
And my teeth will meet my tongue
As I go on missing you.

Every night I dream anew,
Then time unravels
And I see you,

I hold you close to never part
Then I awaken
To a broken heart.

With eyes wide open
I am loathe to see
My life entombed
By awful symmetry

Ars Moriendi

Leave the world a little brighter
Find your bliss and lose your fears,
Leave your friends a little wiser
And measure not by span of years.

Missing from my life,

Your absence always pains me

Like a phantom limb

Ashes stain my hands and heart,

Blessed with all the insight I can stand,

Failure evolves into art,

This wedding guest, a sad and wiser man.

Paradigm Lost

Living is Loving

And Loving is Losing

So Living is Losing

But Life is no game,

Feeling is Falling

And Falling is Failing

So Feeling is Failing

But no one's to blame.

Like a pressed flower

In the pages of my mind,

Memory of joy.

You were right

Like a vessel full of blood and broken glass,

Cutting those nearby and staining the ground,

A drowning man sings no serenades,

He only gasps and grasps, and goes under.

Carry on

Strained back and broken heart,

Life cannot be lived in part,

Tearful eyes and tired feet,

Moving on the outlook's bleak,

For I tripped and then I fell,

Holding nothing left to sell,

Standing still a man apart

Strained back and broken heart.

In my quiet hours I ponder

With a masochistic verve,

That I cut so now I bleed

So I get what I deserve.

Pricking your fingers amid the roses in the garden,

Hearts don't heal over time, they harden.

Lessons learned

Forgiveness is a lie

Crafted by the weak,

Filling up their foolish heads

With platitudes to speak,

Loving is a joke

Narcissistic flame,

Burning up your good intent

And killing you with shame,

Joy is like a knife

Cutting through a vein,

After all is said and done

You're filled with naught but pain.

All the lessons I have learned

Broken bridges I have burned.

Wisdom

To learn what gods and monsters know
Contemplate the tree of woe,
The world will judge and it will show
As you feast upon your crow.

It is good to know

Who is the scorpion,

Before you jump in.

Remains

All the things I left unsaid

Echo through my shadowed mind,

Pressure builds within my head

Love and hope are left behind,

Agent of my own demise

All my sins take me apart,

What is left to my surprise-

My diseased and broken heart.

marked

Bruised up

Battered down

Broken again,

Some dreams shatter

Before they begin,

Reflection

Am I fighting the good fight

Taking up worldly slack,

Or am I just another frog

With a scorpion upon my back?

lovelorn

Still in my despair
Bewildered by this turn
Loss has left me torn.

Broken

Diseased and broken
My heart skips time,
Our love becomes
A pantomime.

With feeling

Bloody my fingers on the shards of my broken heart,
Bark my knees on your sins of omission,
When did baring our scars become foreplay?
My luster fades in your cool, calm eyes
Tell me you want me, once more...

You know nothing, Brennan Gill.

Lament

I'm sorry for the words I spoke 

And those I didn't say,

I'm sorry for each time I failed

To brighten up your day,

I'm sorry for each tear you shed

I counted every one,

I'm sorry that my soiled soul
Has left our love unsung,

I'm sorry I was not enough
To open up your heart,
I'm sorry that we tripped and fell
Before we got to start,

Drowning in my dark lament
Lessons learned are scars misspent.

At your touch

Do you know

The thrill I feel?

Do you see

The smile I wear?

Do you feel

My pulse take flight?

Quietus

Could we be lovers?

Should we be friends?

Will you still haunt me

After it ends?

Somehow it's ending

Never did start,

Sadly I never 

Could love just by part,

Diseased and broken

My heart skips time,

Self-esteem withers

Like fruit on the vine,

The failure is mine,

On that I will dwell,

Guilty of loving

Not wise, but too well.

The other shoe

Watching for the axe to swing

Looking for the hammer-fall,

Hoping for one last sweet breath

Running out of drive to stall,

Dying for a chance to live

Living for a dreadful stop

Circling that famous drain 

Waiting for the boot to drop.